Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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