I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
