would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
