Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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