I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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