he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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