I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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