dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
it glows. i had to have it.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
