apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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