put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
