she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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