Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
