This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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