I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
