Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
