I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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