dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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