You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
