I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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