i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
