i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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