yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
either way he was missing a nipple.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
