these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
