I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
