half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
