i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
