i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
