She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
