I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
