we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
