What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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