A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
