You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
