After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
