My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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