If i come over, it means nothing
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
