We're like a lot better than the average bears
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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