i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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