Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
