I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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