She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
