I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
