so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
