I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
