i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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