I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize