My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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