It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
