I love black thongs
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He felt like a one man threesome
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
