Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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