Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
