You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
