I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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