In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
