The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My life is pants optional.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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