its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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