so that wasnt chicken after all
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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