I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
