Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
