Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
