Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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