Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!

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(630): View more from Illinois

She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep

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(515): View more from Iowa

What did I eat last night that was bloody?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.

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(410): View more from Maryland

ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?

(860): View more from Connecticut

Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time

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(719): View more from Colorado

I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.

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(647): View more from Ontario

yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void

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