I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize