I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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