the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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