I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize