Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
