I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
