the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
